Washington's Advice
On Love & Marriage
Martha Washington to Fanny Bassett
Washington, 29 August 1794
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After the death of her husband George Augustine Washington,
a nephew of George Washington, in 1793, Fanny Bassett subsequently married
George Washington's secretary and close friend Tobias Lear. Before she
accepted Lear's proposal, Fanny sought the advice of George and Martha
Washington. Although Fanny's letter of 29 August 1794 has not been found,
Martha's answer written that same day echoes the sentiments expressed
by her husband in his letter to Burwell Bassett
in 1785:
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My dear Fanny, I wish I could give you unerring
advise in regard to the request contained in your last letter;
I really dont know what to say to you on the subject; you must
be governed by your own judgement, and I trust providence will
derect you for the best; it is a matter more interesting to
yourself than any other[.] The person contemplated is a worthy
man, esteemed by every one that is aquainted with him; he has,
it is concieved, fair prospects before him;--is, I belive, very
industri[ous] and will, I have not a doubt, make sumthing handsome
for himself.--as to the President, he never has, nor never will,
as you have often heard him say, inter meddle in matrimonial
concerns. he joins with me however in wishing you every happyness
this world can give.--you have had a long acquaintance with
Mr Lear, and must know him as well as I do.--he always appeared
very attentive to his wife and child, as farr as ever I have
seen; he is I believe, a man of strict honor and probity; and
one with whom you would have as good a prospect of happyness
as with any one I know; but beg you will not let anything I
say influence you either way. The President has a very high
opinion of and friendship for Mr. Lear; and has not the least
objection to your forming the connection but, no more than myself,
would wish to influence your judgement, either way--yours and
the childrens good being among the first wishes of my heart.
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Fanny's marriage to Lear was short-lived, for Fanny died
in March 1796, probably from tuberculosis, the same disease which had
claimed her first husband three years earlier. This letter is printed
in "Worthy Partner": The Papers of Martha Washington, edited
by Joseph E. Fields, Westport, CT, 1994: 276-77.
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