Washington's Advice On Love & Marriage

George Washington to Burwell Bassett, 23 May 1785

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Washington was noncommittal when his nephew George Augustine Washington, eldest son of his brother Charles, decided to marry Frances ("Fanny") Bassett, daughter of Martha Washington's sister Anna Maria Dandridge and her husband Burwell Bassett. Washington explained his philosophy to the father of the bride in a letter dated 23 May 1785, a photocopy of which is in the Washington Papers at the Library of Congress:
Frances "Fanny" Bassett. Portrait by Robert Edge Pine at Mt. Vernon in 1785. Courtesy Mt. Vernon Ladies' Association.

I have understood that his [George Augustine's] addresses to Fanny were made with your consent--I now learn that he is desirous, and she is willing, to fulfil the engagement they have entered into; and that they are applying to you for permission to do so.

It has ever been a maxim with me, through life, neither to promote, nor to prevent a matrimonial connection, unless there should be something, indispensably requiring interference in the latter. I have always considered Marriage as the most interesting event of ones life. The foundation of happiness or misery. To be instrumental therefore in bringing two people together who are indifferent to each other, & may soon become objects of disgust, or to prevent a union which is prompted by the affections of the mind, is what I never could reconcile with reason, & therefore neither directly, nor indirectly have I ever said a syllable to Fanny, or George, upon the Subject of their intended connection: but as their attachment to each other seems of early growth, warm, & lasting, it bids fair for happiness. If therefore you have no objec[tion,] I think, the sooner it is consummated the better.

I have just now informed them both (the former through Mrs Washington) that it is my wish they should live at Mount Vernon.

The amorous couple, who were already living at Mount Vernon at the time of their engagement, were married there on 15 October 1785. (Diaries, vol. 4, p. 206). Later in December of that same year George Augustine Washington became the manager of Mt. Vernon, a position he held until shortly before his death on 5 February 1793.